At the beginning of this point, it was 3:19am, so excuse my grammatical errors and random sputes of emotion or the lack thereof.
Right now, I am trying to finish three different assignments, and somehow they are all getting done little by little: I have an Anthr essay due tomorrow, an orgo lab report due tomorrow, and an orgo pre-lab… also due tomorrow. Oh joy, procrastination at its finest!
I actually like all the work I am doing right now, so it is not feeling much like work. It just feels like I have been working on it for too long, which tends to happen with stuff that I actually enjoy doing.
This fact actually came to me about an hour ago. People have been constantly entering and exiting the room I am working in, and they seem to ravish in the fact that I am doing all of this work, like I do not enjoy it or I am being tortured. IT is really weird. I constantly get the same comments such as, “Oh you’re still working? (Chuckles) Well I finished everything at the beginning of the week. I am just going to go to bed now and have 12 hours of sleep.” I also get the constant questions like, “Are you done yet? No? (Smiles) Oh… well good luck.” I never really understood it. It’s like people get secretly happy over the fact that you are working so hard. For some reason, they believe that if you are working so late into the nights, you must be torturing yourself and you must hate the work you are doing. This is simply not the case.
Here’s the thing. I am one of those people that if I do not like something or I do not like how something is going, I will immediately drop it. Whatever it is. I remember when I did not like my housing situation during my freshman year. I immediately called the housing office, and they switched me out. Last semester, I dropped an auto-tutorial class that overwhelmed me to the point that I could not eat or sleep. I did not think twice about it.
My motto in life is that there is nothing in this world worth more than your sanity and your sense of self. You need to stay true to yourself and be honest. If a situation becomes wayy too stressful, and you have already done all that you can do, then it is time to let go. This was something that was very hard for me to do back in high school. I was really stubborn (Okay, I still am, but it is not as serious anymore). I refused to let anything get in my way of my goal, and I sacrificed alot to get to where I wanted to be. I then realized that you really cannot give yourself to everything 100% of the time.
It actually was not until recently (like two days ago when I was speaking to a friend on the phone) that I learned that I cannot be good at everything. If you try to do that, you end up only being partially good at everything. It’s better to devote yourself to one thing and stick with it. Then, in the end, you will be really good at something that you love, and you will do it amazingly from that day on.
Now, the real question is: what will that passion be?