College Roommate… Let’s Talk

Today marks a year and four days of how long we have been roommates, and… to say the least it feels much much longer than that.

You asked if we could talk today, and I couldn’t agree more.

How about we talk about…

  1. The only times when you ask for “time to yourself” are when I am in the room. And I am rarely ever in the room already, so that already tells me that it’s not the fact that you just want time for yourself, but you just don’t want me in the room.
  2. There is no compromise being made here if you see it from BOTH of our point of views. We made an agreement to have the lights out by a certain time. But that doesn’t mean that we can’t have our own individual lamps on if we need to (especially since we’re college students, and yea, we kind of tend to study at night). We share the main room light so I understand that that light needs to be out by like 10pm (like you wanted). To have me turn off my lights in the middle of me doing something is not okay. Especially if I have a prelim that week and I am in the middle of studying. Taking a 2 minute break between studying does not mean I am done studying.
  3. You asked me if I minded you watching your show because your earphones were broken. I said sure, but something told me that you were not telling the truth. The reason why was because you tend to not wear earphones at all, even when you don’t ask me. In fact, I think you don’t like wearing them. The one time I had asked you to wear earphones because I was studying, you ended up closing your laptop and leaving the room. So… the other day I saw that your earphones were on the ground under your desk. I decided, “Why don’t I figure out what’s wrong with it and try and help her out?” So I try your earphones and low and behold… they worked perfectly fine. Maybe it’s just your laptop… or maybe they do work fine and you didn’t want to wear earphones. Hmm….
  4. There was a time that I asked you if I could play music. You said yes. So then I played my music. Not too loud because I can’t focus with music too loud. 15 minutes later, you tell me to wear earphones. And so I do. But didn’t you just tell me that I could play music? And now there’s a problem with me playing anything that I have. It seems like I am always the one having to wear earphones and you never wear them.
  5. I am confused because you were talking about how you didn’t like how people didn’t tell you how they really felt. Or you didn’t like passive aggressiveness. Yet, that’s what you do all the time. Everytime I walk in, there’s a sigh. Everytime I put on a light, there’s a huff. Everytime I am on my bed just on my laptop, there’s a moan. Everytime I play music there’s a grunt. It seems like me just being in the room (or in your ‘holy’ presence) bothers you.
  6. To have lights turned off every time that I leave a room is unreasonable. I am just going to the bathroom and you want me to turn off all lights. I go to say hi to a friend and the lights need to be turned off. Yes, I will turn off the light when I am leaving for a long period of time. That’s what I’ve always done. But for me to leave for about one minute just to come back and turn the lights back on doesn’t really help or change anything. That just means I’ll be flickering the lights on and off. That’s even worse than just leaving them on for the minute that I’m out of the room.
  7. No one can see in the dark, and not everyone has the same daily schedule as you. If I come back late, I will be putting on my small dresser light to navigate. And to expect me to come home and just go to bed (like you do. Actually, I don’t even know if you left the room all day) is a mistake. I like to atleast relax, and watch d video or 2 on my laptop. Or atleast try and get an assignment or 2 out of the way.
  8. How is it that the dim light at my dresser bothers you but your laptop being on high brightness and playing a show that you fell asleep to doesn’t faze you at all? Do you not notice that? Just my lamp?
  9. The 2 people that you’ve brought to the room have been guys.. and I understand that you said that they are over for studying, but it didn’t seem that way. If you were only there to study, why did you stare at me when he was in our room, looking at me like I should’ve gotten up (from studying) and left the room to give you guys privacy? And the fact that he was coming over at about 11:30pm gave off warning signs. That is the time when you are in bed and not studying anymore. If you are going to have guys over, then please do what you want outside of the room or at a decent hour. Not when I am in the room studying… I mean I guess if you want to do something, just be quiet or something. But… come on, that’s common courtesy :/
  10. You are always in the room, either sleeping or on your laptop. And then you are telling me that you want to be more involved in the community, but you have yet to step out of the room all day. I told you that in order to be more involved in the community, you need to at least try. They will not be coming to you if you have not shown yourself or interest at all. I told you this during the first week of school, and you disregarded me (well, I doubt that you listened to me in the first place).
  11. It seems like me just typing on my laptop bothers you. Me just being a student bothers you. What is up with that? Everytime I am typing on my laptop and you’re watching a show or laying in bed, you are just sighing, blowing air, huffing and puffing… What does that even mean?
  12. I own half of the room and for you to act that I am not even there and that you control everything that happens in the room is a mistake. If I want a small lamp on to read, I will be putting on a lamp. If I want to keep my window a crack open for some fresh air, that will be happening. I often have to turn off the lights early or close the windows or stop moving for you, and it is now getting tiring and annoying. I cannot keep doing this anymore.
  13. If you need more personal time to yourself or if you feel like you cannot share a common space with someone, I believe a single room is more fit so you don’t have to worry about having a roommate.
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