1st Weekend of SMDEP (06/10)

(Sorry of the grammar for this entry is wonky. I was watching Batman Begins and wasn’t really paying special attention to what I was writing. Hopefully I made some sort of sense and you got the gist of everything I had wanted to say)

So I never really talked about SMDEP (now SHPEP) in my blogs, and it actually had a huge impact on the reasons for why I am on the pre-med track

So here was the first weekend.

June 10th, 2016

For the first weekend that I was there, it actually didn’t start very well. I woke up to news that Christina Grimmie had died. Christina Grimmie, a huge person who I had loved, had been shot at her concert in Orlando by some crazed fan. Her brother, after realizing that the guy had shot, tackled the guy to the ground. I imagined the emotions that were running through him at that time. He just lost his sister with one shot, and he witnessed it. Of course he would tackle the guy to the ground. Hell, he would have killed the guy right then and there. What a crazy time for the family, and for the world in general.

She had such a huge impact on people. She was the reason why my sister got into piano, and that’s big because my sister was obsessed with piano for the longest time. I wondered where the sudden passion came from, but it all made sense now. And now, she’s crazy good at it. All because of Christina.

It’s crazy because Christina was a person who my middle sister had been super obsessed with. She had an amazing voice with killer piano skills. She was even on the Voice and was ridiculously amazing. She made it to the final round and won 2nd place in the entire competition. But Adam Levine completely loved her. I thought he would marry her if he wasn’t already involved with that Victoria’s Secret model. But he did decide to pay for all the funeral charges and helped out with the family as much as he could. I told both my sisters and they were pretty sad about it. I told my mom about it and she was a little indifferent about it. Obviously, she was sad that she had died, but she had no idea who she was. That’s when I realized just how much social media affected my generation.

Life just wasn’t fair. She was becoming huge in music. She had worked so hard putting out Youtube videos and getting her name out there. And finally while having a gig in Orlando, she was signing autographs. She was becoming famous, and then this happened. She was beautiful. She had an amazing voice. She loved God. And she was only 22… That’s just crazy how life happens.

She didn’t deserve it. She was on her way up to fame, and it was crazy how she stayed so true to herself the entire way.

Well after that incident, the weekend got a little better. Things started to lighten up a bit. There were still alot of fun adventures to come.

During the first weekend that I was there, we all took a whole bunch of cars and went to this creek where they had a swing rope and a cliff that people could jump off of. I was a little nervous because… well.. I don’t have the prettiest legs  (I have these 2 scars on my knees due to childhood. I’m not taking back my childhood, but I just wish I was less of a tomboy), so I thought I would be judged by them. It turns out that people do not judge you as much as you think. We walked through the creek, and I felt like I would slip on the rocks. They all were covered with algae and mold maybe? It felt weird and I hoped that I would not get any foot disease or anything. As we kept walking, we finally found the big cliff, and there were already a good amount of people there from around town. It seemed like a very common hangout spot, and it was pretty cool. We quickly took off our clothes and kept our bathing suits on.

The rocks kind of hurt my feet, so I balanced myself on the large rocks. I sat on them to release some of the pressure on my feet. It felt so relaxing to be sitting in the water listening to the children who were in the water and watching people jump off the cliffs and all of that. I eventually mustered up enough courage to try the swing rope. When I was finally up there with the rope in hand and I looked at how high I was above the water, that’s when I thought about it again and I really asked myself, “Are you sure? Do you really wanna do this?” Kids were behind me waiting for their turns, and they looked kind of impatient at the fact that I was standing there for so long, so I needed to make a decision quick. I decided to just go for it. I believe my last thought that really made me do it was, “When will I get this chance again? You mind as well try it once.” I also thought that kids were able to do this, so why couldn’t I?

I did it, and boy, that thing was actually hard to do. The hardest part was keeping myself up. I needed to work on my upper body strength…

While going through the air, I felt my knees skid across the water as I tried to keep myself up. It was pretty tough, but I tried it again, and this time I kept myself up a little more. It worked for a little, but when I landed in the water, my butt hit the water first and kind of left it sore.

But it was worth it.

Obviously the kids were much better at it than I was, but I thought that they had it easier because they didn’t weight as much. It was okay though, because that summer I went to the gym every single day (they had a crazy nice gym facility since sports is huge for them, and it was right across the street from where I stayed for the summer. It was the biggest gym I had ever been to, and it was the nicest. Everything was new. And it was 3 stories. How crazy). Just they wait… my upper body strength would be amazing by the end of the summer.

After swimming, we went to Olive Garden to eat. It was okay for a little bit. I mean helloo…. Olive Garden was (still is) my favorite restaurant. The food was nice, and everyone sitting around me was cool… to some extent. But it was annoying to see that part of the table (and we had a pretty long table) seemed to want to be more mannered and more… boujie than the other side. The other side was more talkative and laughed much louder than the other. The side that I was on just kept doing side looks to the other side and kept quiet. I hated it. But it’s my favorite restaurant.

When it was time to leave, there was a bit of a mix up with the receipts and stuff like that. In the end, about 2 people had their orders paid for and another 2 people got free desserts. Olive Garden lost alot in profit that day…

Afterwards, we decided to go to the big Illinois bridge (idk what the actual name of the bridge is called, but it lies between Illinois and Indiana). It was funny, because we decided to go at night, which we wondered why we wanted to go so late.

We still went, because we thought that since we would start getting super busy after this week, then we should go now.

So we went.

And let me just say… it was so beautiful. The bridge lights up at night and they have rainbow lights on it. There were violinist on the sides of the bridge asking for money. There was a girl who was singing, and her voice was amazing. And she seemed only 13 years old max, but her voice was like a 30-year-old. Her mom was on the side supporting her along with her younger brother. There was a little boy breakdancing on the ground. He seemed to have maybe a huge tumor growing around his mouth. His face seemed double the size as it should be. Maybe he was raising money for the surgery…Some of us gave money but I didn’t have any cash on me.

We walked all the way to the Indiana side, and we asked someone to take our picture. It was really nice.

I felt kind of bad because I felt a divide between our group, kinda the same divide I felt back in Olive Garden. A group of us were walking a little more ahead than the group behind. I wasn’t sure what had happened, because I felt like we had not known each other enough to have any sort of beef between each other. I had told my friend (his name begins with a C last name W, so I’ll call him CW) about the divide that I was feeling, and he noticed it and thought it was really weird to have some kind of beef like that between each other. We were all trying to be Doctors and Dentists, so why couldn’t we just come together?

The bridge was still pretty awesome, and I had never experienced anything like it. I was happy to have gone with people who I think would become some of my best friends.

But anyways, after having gone through the program, those people actually ended up being my closest friends, so maybe it was just an initial feeling, or maybe it was their initial reaction.



It has been quite a while

My, my, my, there has been so much that has happened during these past 2 weeks. Where do I even begin??

I probably won’t put it all in one blog post because that may create the world’s longest blogpost.

  1. Finals weeks (ughh)
  2. Packing and storage (another ughhh, but also a yaayy)
  3. My birthday (woot!)
  4. My travels back home (what an adventure!)
  5. My adventures while back home (mainly just Hulu)
  6. Grades (yet another ughhh, and some yays, but mostly ughh))
  7. My travel to the city with friends from both college and home (when 2 worlds collide)
  8. Swimming that one time this summer
  9. Getting my brand new laptop (Ahhh!)
  10. The summer program that I am now attending (another Ahhh!)

So I have a lot of ideas to write about, and I can’t wait to get started, it’s just figuring out if I even have enough time to write about them all >.<

I guess I’ll start with the most current. Stay tuned…


Over-Stretched and Over-Worked

I’m stressed to the max right now because I have too many uncertainties in my life.

1. I have a final in about an hour, and I’m already sitting in the auditorium. (Why would a school decide to put a final on a Sunday anyways?) I don’t really know what the professor wants from us given that he didn’t really lecture to us about the information.

2. I am suppose to have another final exam tomorrow (almost exactly 24 hours from now), and I have yet to start studying for that because I was too busy studying for this exam and yesterday’s exam.

3. I have yet to start packing anything because I don’t have any boxes.

4. My friend was suppose to pick up my boxes yesterday, and apparently they never came.

5. He heard from another friend that they indeed came.

6. The information needed for the summer program that I’m doing was turned in late, so they might kick me out of the program. It turns out that everything was sent home, but they all said that they never saw it. ;(

7. I’m suppose to be coming back to campus halfway through summer, but I don’t know what I’ll do about housing.

8. I’m suppose to be leaving campus by Wednesday morning, and I have yet to packed.

9. My friend is taking me to my favorite restaurant Tuesday night because Tuesday is my birthday.

10. I don’t know if I will be able to take this makeup exam on Tuesday morning for my other class. I really hope so, because I might cry tonight.

11. I have a music assignment due tonight, so I have to complete that.

12. I just want to go home and sleep, even if it’s for a little bit.

13. I still have to work Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday, but I need to get this one shift dropped that I cannot make at all.

14. At the same time, my friend says that he thinks that we are not spending enough time together (I don’t think he understands my life at all, because he’s demanding more than I can give. He knew how busy I was from the beginning, so I don’t really understand what he wants.)

15. I still have yet to fill out financial aid.

16. A friend of my keeps butting into my relationship, and I am not appreciating it

Ughhhhhhh!! My Lifeeeeee!! >.<

Doctor in the Making

Factoring out academics, I feel like I am on the right track to becoming a doctor.

Of course, I cannot tell this to the people reading my medical school application.

I mean I have a little bit of shadowing experience with an ENT, Head, and Neck Surgeon and that was definitely an experience.

I got into this summer program that is for aspiring medical doctors! I will be shadowing physicians, tour a medical school, take a 3-credit class, receive a stipend along with have housing and meals and transportation paid for. I am super excited because this is a program that I was hoping and praying to be accepted into for over a year now. Now that I got in, I wonder if this was really what I wanted.

There was no doubt in my mind before this moment. What if I am not as into the medical field as I thought? What if I end up wasting a summer? What if I hate the location and the people in the program?

Okay, I don’t think I will hate the people in the program, but I just want to know that I will make some sort of relationship with the people.

This program is only for half my summer, and I already went home for spring break, so I kind of just want to go somewhere else for the summer. I don’t want to stay home, as bad as it sounds. I just don’t feel like I get much done at home. I was home for the entire winter break and didn’t do a single thing. It was glorious, but it was definitely a time when I could have gotten so much done.

I am thinking about staying in my college for the next half of the summer. Hopefully that can happen and it will be glorious. I already know plenty of people staying on campus, and I have already stayed on campus for two consecutive summers (the first time was not by choice, and the second one was a program that I could not pass up. It was more of a branch off of the summer before). So far, I have really liked my time here and I am ready to stay for another summer, though many people say I should just stay home.

Decisions, decisions… and I’m running out of time.